Why Your Guy is Silent

If you have given your guy all the green light he needs to make the move; yet he is still dragging his feet, it’s not because he didn’t see it. There is more to making the move than your green light. On BrojidSisters this week, I want to show you five reasons why you guy has remained silent.  

When two adults of the opposite sex start getting closer, it could mean that they have something in common or they are trying to establish a relationship. In most cases, it doesn’t mean anything beyond friendship and in other cases, it could mean the starting point of a relationship that will grow and blossom into marriage.

In our traditional society, it’s the guy’s duty to move the relationship beyond mere friendship into serious relationship and eventually plant the seed of courtship that leads to marriage. But there are times when even though the stage is set, you have even given the guy green light, yet he is silent. He is so silent like Simi’s Joromi that you may be tempted to work extra hard to get him to do the needful.

A guy’s silence when he is expected to pop the question or define where your relationships going can be discouraging and worrisome. If it’s not properly handled, it can even lead to frustration and eventual depression. There are many ladies who have gone unmarried or got married to the wrong persons because they continued in a relationship when their guy remained silent longer than usual.

My goal is to show you what to do when a guy is silent. However, while I was ruminating on this subject matter, it occurred to me that guys don’t stay silent for the fun of it. There are realities that shut them up even when they should have spoken. That’s why I want to first show you why your guy is silent so that if you have in anyway contributed to his silence, you will withdraw that contribution and if you can help cure him of the misconceptions that has kept him numb, you will do so quickly.

Your guy is silent because he is not meant to talk.

It is not everybody that comes around you that are interested in a serious relationship with you and people can just be causal friends without any plan of moving beyond that level. When a girl observes some element of care and attention from a guy they like or have a crush on, it’s common to find her start building up expectations that the guy is going to propose to her or ask her out. However, no matter how much you like or crush on him, it doesn’t mean he has any intent of saying anything.

I recall once, a lady telling me that she saw me giving her signals and I was surprised that she read my brotherly love as signals.That guy may just be nice as his nature is. I have plenty female friends and they all know I am not going to marry all of them. I will declare my manifesto to only one and if she votes for me, I will marry her.

The truth is that he may be interested or not really interested but was just observing to see if you fit into what he wants. Until he concludes his observation and says something, please don’t give him too much accommodation in your heart. Please come to terms with this reality that he may say something or say nothing depending on his conclusion after observations. So, don’t build expectations without base. In the same vein, don’t turn down other guy’s manifesto because you are waiting for someone to say something. He may never say anything!

Your guy may be silent because is not yet ready.

There are times when a guy may really like you and you fit perfectly into what he wants in a woman but he is not ready. You know that getting engaged or married no be beans and that’s why a guy always settles down to be sure that they are ready to face the reality before they take the first step of formally declaring their interest. For some guys they need to make up their mind to stick with one girl and that’s part of being ready for them. To some others, they have career and education goals and until they have attained them, marriage is not on their to-do list.

Your guy may be silent because he is broke.

It takes certain degree of financial commitment to be in love, get engaged and get married. A typical African guy doesn’t feel comfortable being taken care of by his gal, no matter how rich she is. Even when he has found his Juliet, he first takes time to develop finical muscle to do what he has to do in his relationship. In fact, even if he can take care of you as a girlfriend and seem to have enough to run a home, chances are that the thought of the typical African wedding ceremony scares him into his shell. He has some money but when you compare what he has to what he needs to for society wedding, you find that he is actually broke.

Your guy may be silent because he is not sure of you.

There are times when a guy is silent because after observing you for a while, he has found that you are not the one he wants. He may be OK with having sex with you and getting marriage benefits from you but doesn’t trust you enough to make a lifetime commitment with you. You may think he is dubious and has been wasting your time. It’s not always the case. At first he may be interested but on closer scrutiny, he has found that you have flaws he considers too big to manage. And those flaws have kept him silent.

Your guy may be silent because he is dubious.

I want you to know that his silence may also be because he is generally a dubious fellow. That is, he is not interested in marring you but don’t want to lose you because of what he gains from you now. It’s possible that the great sex you give him and money he gets from you is why he is still stuck with you but don’t really want to marry you.

My point?

Your guy may be silent despite all the green lights you have shining to him; not because he can’t see it; but because he is incapacitated by factors beyond his control.

What I have succeeded in doing today is showing you why your guy may be silent. Next week on BrojidSisters, I will share with you how to pin point the real reason why your guy is silent and how to handle him.