When Your Pastor Showers You Care & Attention…
If you are a young single and fine lady, you will get attention from men and it’s not your fault. It’s the fringe benefit of being a fine gel.
So, don’t feel guilty or uncomfortable because of the attention you get; love can come from anywhere—including the pulpit. It’s a lady like you that your pastor will marry; not the Holy Spirit.
You need to understand that although your pastor is anointed, powerful with ministry characterized with supernatural manifestations, he is still a human—he gets tired, uses the restroom, gets hungry and has sexual urge.
What may distinguish him from other pastor is that he doesn’t allow his humanity to drive him into sin. But it’s not even all that have the title ‘Pastor’ that have such capacity.
That’s why we see ‘pastors’ that cheat in the market and do everything that any normal Christian should not do including sexually abusing young ladies under their care and impregnating those they work with.
For your pastor to give you attention is not a bad thing in itself; however, because there are chances of abuses, wisdom is to beware of danger when you start getting unusual attentions.
Please, don’t get it twisted, I am not saying that your pastor is evil just because he gives you more attention and spends more time with than other ladies in your church or fellowship.
The attention you are getting may be because God gave him a burden for you and it’s in the best interest of your welfare that you get the attention. It’s also possible that the attention and more time with you are inspired by his desire to have carnal knowledge of you.
Many ladies that have been sexually abused by their ‘Man of God’ became a victim because they were so naïve and ignorant to see the telltale signs that it’s not the pastor’s moves were not towards their spiritual upliftment but sexual satisfaction.
I have heard of ladies that vowed to have nothing to do with God let alone church; because they fell victim of their pastor’s unbridled sexual desires. Some even look at everybody in the church as suspects while others believe no man can control his sexual desires.
Tales of sexual abuses from Campus Fellowship Leaders, Pastors, Fathers in The Lord, Pastors and even General Overseas are heartbreaking. You and I may not be able to stop them, but we can reduce the number of those that fall victim of their prey.
You can’t achieve this by running away from the church—to do that will mean that Satan has won. You can’t also decide never to work in a church again; that may be abandoning God’s assignment for your life.
Practical wisdom, when learnt my ladies like you and applied, will most certainly prove helpful in keeping you so far away from them that you won’t even fall for into their trap.
Many of those that became victims of sexual abuse were so naïve and ignorant that they didn’t realize the mission of the ‘prey-pastor’ until they have been led to a tight corner where they can’t say ‘No’ or enforce their refusal.
Therefore, if you learn subtle ways men ask for sex, you can pick the sex-request signals from afar even before the pastor says a word or gets them into a tight corner. I discussed four mostly used of such signals my book, “When Your Guy Asks for Sex’ Pg. 15-21
Also, you need to learn how to say ‘NO’ to him clearly and firmly so that, just like most men think, he won’t think your ‘NO’ actually means ‘YES’. I also explained how to communicate your refusal clearly and firmly to any man asking you for sex in the book, Pg. 26-32
Similarly, as a person in authority, courtesy and proper home training demand that you send your refusal message as respectfully as possible so while you escape being a victim you don’t destroy a potentially beneficial relationship. I explained how you can do just that from Pg. 22-25
If you have given in him once and that memory keeps drawing you into that act, the guide I shared in the chapter, Erasing Past Sex Memories, Pg, 33-37, will prove helpful you in and him in erasing the memories of past encounters that are still tugging at you.
If you need more detailed and specific guidance on dealing with sexual advances from your pastor, like the person asking this question: “My pastor is into me; how do I keep him off my life?” you will find my answer in Pg. 50-54
If your pastor is giving your attention, don’t be quick to judge him as having an ulterior motive. But don’t be so relaxed as if there are no bad eggs in the pulpit. Even before you get advances from them and be in a tight corner, please learn how to be ahead of them and escape their trap with practical wisdom I have emptied into that book.
PS: The book comes with a 12-part audio programme based on each of the chapter of the book for just N1,000 only if you order between 1st -10th Sept 2019.
To place your order, kindly make the payment through cash deposit, online/ATM transfer, to this account below:Access Bank Plc : Brojid World : 0726242067 : Current Account. After payment, send proof of payment + your email address to [email protected] or +2348105504664 on WhatsApp and your book plus bonus audio pack will be sent to you.
PSS: Kindly share this knowledge with every lady you can reach as your way of saving them from being a victim of sexual abuses by people saddled with the responsibility of helping them draw closer to God.
Joseph ‘Brojid’ Dinwoke,
Host, Brojid Sisters Hangout