WHY I WAS TAGGED ‘WOMAN WRAPPER’
I had gone for a lunch break, after our morning class, in the company of two ladies and they are my senior professional colleagues. As we were walking back to class, I noticed that one of them had a handbag which, as usual, is packed with only-God-knows that women naturally load their bags with. I felt very uncomfortable walking with her and watching her carry her heavy handbag while I had nothing on my hand; though my laptop is on my back in my bag. So, I offered to help her carry her handbag. Do you mind if I help you with your bag? I asked, stretching my hand to collect her handbag. Smiling, she said, “No, I don’t.” and lowered the bag from her shoulder. The second lady exclaimed, “Joseph, woman wrapper!” “No am not woman wrapper anything… how can I just watch her carry her bag and just walk along.” I protested. They were surprised at my explanation and contrasted me with other men generally, saying that men can’t offer to especially men from my ethnic group.
It was then that they explained how men don’t carry women’s handbag instead; they expect the woman to carry their loads. I was surprised to hear them say that because it’s just normal in my circle (Student Christian Movement, UNN) for guys to carry the ladies handbag as we strolled with them to their hotel after fellowship or late EXCO meeting. It’s not about toasting the ladies. It’s just being sensible, at least to me.
Come to think of it: what is the big deal in carrying a woman’s handbag? We are African’s and I’m proudly African but I hate to see myself treat women the way a typical African treat women – acquired property or glorified slave. That’s not who woman are! Women are created for an assignment in life; to contribute solution to the myriad problems of humanity. Actually, from God’s perspective, I can’t do without them in the fulfilment of my purpose on the earth.
Women are not inferior to men; but they submit to the leadership of men at home for a smooth running if the family. Their submission is not a result of lack of ability, but obedience to the order of God for the family institution. Please I am not talking about Ammanda’s kind of womanhood, where a woman will neither take her husband’s name nor agree to be addresses as Mrs. She is on her own. No godly woman who wants to enjoy all that God packed in marriage should copy her on that. Get inspired by her success, but not her disposition on marriage and family.
In fact, the Great Teacher of the Bible, Pastor Bankie, captured Godly description of a wife in these words: “A wife is a companion by covenant. She is not your inferior in any way, but a joint-heir with you, equal in every degree. She is not subordinate because of inferiority, but because of the need to have the proper flow of power in the home. Her role is that of a second-in-command; before God her position is just as important as yours and her personality is as unique as yours.”
I have tried to give you a godlier picture of who a wife is. If you understand that she was created to be your helper, why would you not offer to help her no matter how small? The carrying of handbag is not really a big deal. What about home chores? Please, let’s make as much effort as we can help her out. It can be as little keeping her company in the kitchen, getting the children ready for school and going to buy food stuffs for her.
Don’t mind the men that laugh at you. They laugh because it’s a bit alien to our culture. If they say that your wife is controlling you, it’s not their business. By the way, who else should be controlling you if not your wife? Your father? Your mother? No! Your wife is the chief control officer in your life after God. With time, those who laugh at you, will realize how sensible and appropriate your style is and come to you for family counselling.
Don’t listen to the lie that your wife won’t respect you if you treat her nice. I have heard many men say that. I choose to disagree with them! That may be their experience or the experience of their fathers, but I can’t restrain myself from treating my lady or woman nice for fear of her being disrespectful.
Bros, let me tell you: it’s both godly and romantic to treat your wife or any lady nice. It forms a strong bond, needed for relationships and earns you respect.
As often as you can, offer to be of help to any lady or woman you have the opportunity to. God created them because he found that it’s not good that we remain alone. There is happiness you are sure to get as you make her happy…. don’t miss it again.