WHEN OFFENCE FESTERS
In the last episode of BrojidStepUp, I pointed out that you offend people almost on daily basis and you should do what you can to deal with it. One of the things I desire is that as we progress in learning about this, you will come to a point where you don’t dismiss your offences against others as nothing; but take them seriously. That’s why today, I want to show you the damages that get done in your relationships when we allow offences to fester.
Offences may have resulted from singular, careless and seemly inconsequential words and actions; however, when they are allowed to fester, they grow into something gigantic and difficult to manage. It’s for this reason that you should nip it on the bud before it matures into something difficult to manage.
Ignorance of the offence is not enough excuse for allowing it to grow and relationships that matter to you shouldn’t be allowed to crash because you are not diligent in discerning when you offend people and handling it properly. If you care about your relationships and heed the biblical injunction, “As long as it lies in your power, pursue peace with all men” you should put in required effort to ascertain when you have offended people so that you can do what lies in your hands to maintain peace.
Offences are not just mistakes, they are seeds which, if allowed to germinate, grow into deep seated resentment, bitterness and anger. Unfortunately, these are seeds that either make relationships miserable or break them. What lies in your hand in pursuing peace with all men is to kill any of those seeds even before it grows into maturity.
Even when you are offended, if you care about your relationship, you should not allow offences to linger in your heart to the level of breaking your relationships. I understand that you have been offended and the offence is very hurtful; however, leaving it to mature into bitterness and hatred is not in the best interest of your relationship. Please don’t give offences chance to grow in your life and strangle peace that has been in your relationships!
It’s important you understand that no matter how nice and good intentioned people around you are, they will still offend you due to their imperfections and methods. That’s why you should, as soon as possible, dispel any feeling of hurts resulting from any offences whether they apologise or not.
In the same vein, the offender shouldn’t hesitate to apologise. Some people may not be mature enough to let go of offences without making a big deal out of it. Please apologise as soon as you discern that you have offended someone. Don’t give offence a chance to challenge the life of your relationship!
Please know that peace that once existed among coworkers too flight because one person picked offence and held unto it strongly. Marriage that once blossomed crashed because one of the spouses allowed the seed of bitterness to spout and blossom instead of swallowing his/her pride to apologise. Father and son relationship that was once sweet turned bitter because they allowed their offences to overcome the force of peace and unity.
A good way to kill offences so that they don’t grow is to give the offender excuse for the offence. Choose to believe it was an error or that the offender was overpowered. It will make your forgiving him easier even before he apologises. Be quick to apologise when you offend people instead of giving excuses and explanations for your failing.
Relationships break down when hurts and offences are allowed to fester; but I believe you care about your relationship enough not to allow it crash. Therefore, kill whatever offence you may have committed or may have been committed against you instead of allowing it grow into bitterness that will weakened the bond of peace and harmony in your relationship.
Join me on the next episode where I will share with you how to discern that you have offended someone.