My Letter; Borne Out Of Love

As a youth and student of the Word of God, I studied concepts like love and friendship. My studies show me that love is not shown primarily by gift. Also, love and friendship is not about constant calls and always being together. For me Love and friendship is something more serious and important than all those. Actually, I see friendship as a partnership for increased productivity.


My own definition of not-a-friend is someone who will see me do wrong and wouldn’t correct me for whatever reason at all. He/she is also one who will see my bad habits that will ruin me as say “people are different sha…he can live his life the way he wants.”


For me a friend is not only one who stand by me in the face of adversity and care for me, but the one who look into my eye and tell me, “ Bros, you are wrong” whenever I am wrong. He is also one who will see me about to fall into a pit and rush to keep me from falling.  The best friend I have ever had in my life is my secondary school friend and we are still friends though separated by admission into the university. One of the things I like most about him is that when I start on the wrong path, he calmly tells me: “Joe, I don’t really think this is the best option” and at such point we start discussing my and his own option. I do the same for him. For me, he is my best man.


Now, I said all this to bring you to the point that I can’t say that I love you (which I really do) and not tell you truths I think you will find very useful. So, even if I say things that offend you in the course of this my long letter don’t pick offence and get angry with me. I say whatever am telling you because I think you need them.


My dear, I believe you are too big to wear clothes that will expose your nakedness in any form. It’s for girls who don’t have worth and are looking for attention that would expose their…. My estimation of your worth is not the kind that will stoop so low to wear any cloth that will reveal your cleavage or even bra handle. I believe you are too big to do that. I have this believe that any sensible man who discovers your value will knock on your door without having to see your breast in any form. That’s why I started getting worried when I saw you in attires notice the ‘s’. My believe is that it’s girl who are seeking attention desperately that go as far as opening windows up and down so that men will notice how big or succulent their boobs or buttocks is. You know me well enough in our the church I founded in those days that one of the best things a lady that use to scare my attention from on her is to open those windows. I have not been able to have a crush on any lady who has the habit if flouting those things on her thorax. My reason is that I see it as an act of desperation and I don’t want to be in love with a desperate girl. Personally, I’m more at home with ladies who know their worth and don’t descend too low to open any window, push men with those two things or even try to posses any man. Understand that I am talking about myself, but this thing applies to many real men I know. And I suspect very strongly that you would want to marry  a real man.


While I thought about your new style of dressing, a thought came to me, “Maybe, she is following trends” If that’s the case, I think you have to stop. I don’t have a problem with following trends, but I have every problem with following the trend initiated my confused people. Most satanic dress styles that we find in our society today were introduced by Satan possessed people who are very popular. Satan gets a new cloth and Beyonce endorses it and every little girl want to be like her. If I were a woman, I wouldn’t want to be like her. Most celebrities we see on TV all the time and read about in newspaper are hardly adding any positive value to society yet we try to copy without knowing.


For me, I like to dress like Pastor Bankie (my pastor, lecturer), Mike Awoyinfa (journalist, publisher and biographer), Larry King (broadcaster) and not, never like Flavour or Terry G. My sister who I hope you are not copying them without knowing. If I were a girl, I will look up to great women like Mary Kay Ash, an outstanding entrepreneur. I will look up to Oby Ezekwesili who introduced due process in Nigeria contract awarding. I will look up to Dora Akunyili who brought reform in Nigeria food and drug administration. Have you ever seen Prof Ezeonu, former Microbiology HOD dress up in attire exposing her up or down endowment. Once, I saw her jogging in the morning, when I was coming to school, she was in trousers but a decent one. Believe me, I admired her.


You may reason that if you dress well, you will look old fashioned. Lie! It’s not my fault, many times I see girls and sand to admire them. You know why? I sense they are full of God and are smartly yet decently dressed. It depends on the kind of person you want to admire you. A sinner would want you to open your cleavage so that he will feed on his lust. I don’t want it because it might get me sexually aroused and I don’t want to since there is not godly means of cooling off such tension.


Don’t forget that there is a lifestyle that befits our repentance. There is a lifestyle we should live as people of God. In the area of our dressing, you should dress decently. It doesn’t stop you from dressing smartly.


Please let me tell you what I mean by decent dressing. It’s a dressing that does not expose your nakedness in any form and allows you to move comfortably. Short skirts are not bad skirts, but if you have to use cloths to cover your nakedness when you sit in a short skirt, then simply take the cloth to a tailor to fix it for you. I’m not a deeper life person. I wouldn’t even allow my wife to dress shabby, but she must not put her breasts that are for me and our children for public display.


Dress very well and he will locate you for your true worth not your outlook.


Let me summarize for now. Please I don’t think skirts that expose your thighs are good for you. It brings you down to the level of common girl (I never saw you as one). A cloth that is so such or transparent that it exposes your cleavage or bra is not also good for you. Believe me, there are girls that need to do all those exposures to be accepted but not you my dear. Again, not you that I know!!!


Ifeanyi Dinwoke

Ifeanyi Dinwoke

Ifeanyichukwu 'Brojid' Dinwoke is a Media Strategist, Web Developer & Book Publisher. At Brojid World, he creates blog, podcast, and book that inspire you for peak performance in life and work. He is madly in love with Chidinma Eberechukwu (@chidinmadinwoke) who agreed to be the wife of his youth!

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