Many people, both men and women, believe that men are promiscuous by nature. How true is this claim? Here is my view.


Sometime ago, I was in a bus with a lady (more like a stranger) and we started chatting and the chat derailed to love, sex and relationship. She told how married people have extra marital affairs and how endemic such practice is in some tribes of Nigeria. I was so shocked at the facts and statistics she gave me especially about people she knows that I asked her, “Please can’t a man or woman get sexual satisfaction from a partner?  She turned the question to me, “I should be asking you. Can’t  you men stick to one partner?”

Another time, I went for a youth conference and the question of the gender that cheat most in relationship came up. I stood to explain that no gender is wired by nature to cheat and a lady stood to interrupt me, “Can you swear that you have only one girlfriend?” I was too shocked to speak; because I didn’t have a girlfriend. Not to talk of having one.

Before you conclude that all me are promiscuous, let me tell you share my opinion with you.

The problem with seeing all men as promiscuous is that deep down inside your heart, you will believe that your husband has the potentials of promiscuity and you will expect him to manifest it. People who have studied deeply into metaphysics and spiritual matters have shown us that the power of expectation is that what you strongly expect will come upon you. Another problem with that belief is that you will transfer it to your children. Instead of correcting your son, you believe that that’s the way he was made.

Get it clear; no man is wired to be promiscuous. Many men just choose to the same way many girls choose prostitution as career.

I know you have seen many promiscuous men. In fact, you may have a father, brother, uncle or even pastor who is certified womaniser. That’s their choice; not their nature! If you look around, you will still see men of one woman

The man’s physiology is not a valid excuse for promiscuity. His physiology may accounts for the ease of getting erection; not promiscuity.  I have been with married men who woamnise and the reason they give for their evil lifestyle is clear expression of wickedness in their heart and zero love for their wives. Some want to chop egusi and ogbono soup without minding how their wives feel about it. It’s just their selfishness interest not their nature.

Some simply copied a bad lifestyle usually because of their evil association and lack of self control; it’s not in their nature. It’s a product of evil association.

Any man who commits sin can generate excuses for his sin; it’s not even difficult to get such excuse. In the same way, if you choose not to commit sin, it means that you have rejected the lame excuse men give to be promiscuous.

My sister, beware of what you are attracting to yourself. Life is wired that we, by our words, faith, state of heart, attract and repel things from us. It is wisdom to believe God who said you can ask Him to give you a godly husband and keep him from being promiscuous. Why are we so faithless that we can’t believe God to change a promiscuous man.

Related:  Handling Your Persistent Chyka

Changing a Promiscuous Man…

I have heard it said that a promiscuous man cannot change even when he gets married but that is not a complete truth.  If that man gives his life to Christ, he will become empowered to stick with one woman for sexual satisfaction. I am not advocating that you should marry

All men are not promiscuous. The promiscuous ones are not so by nature but by choice. Don’t expect your husband or sons to be promiscuous. Pray and talk them into right living.

a promiscuous man; my point is that if you have married one, you should pray for him. He needs help! Sometimes, he may have been so involved in it that it’s not about having an urge for sex but about a bad habit.

Tempted to be promiscuous….

Just like every other human, we are constantly tempted to do the wrong thing. But the right thing to do is resist temptation and even when you fall, you keep trying. Some of my pastor friends told me stories of temptation to chop outside and how they resisted it. One told me that a lady forgot something in his house and when she called to inform him that she is coming back to pick what she forgot, a thought dropped in his heart, “What if this girl come here and I have sex with her?” He stated binding it and prayed to God that someone comes to his house with her. To cut the long story short, someone saw her on her way and choose to follow her.

My point? All men are not promiscuous. The promiscuous ones are not so by nature but by choice. Don’t expect your husband or sons to be promiscuous. Pray and talk them into right living.


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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke, Radio producer/OAP at Radio Nigeria Voice96.7FM, and publicist, is the curator of At Brojid World, he creates contents and provides training, mentoring, coaching and inspiration for peak performance in your life and work through blog posts, podcasts, books and training. You can follow him on social media by clicking on any of these social media icons. To get his daily inspirational and insightful broadcast on WhatsApp, connect with him with: 0810 550 4664

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