In the last part of this series, I explained to you that you may apologise yet your apologies get rejected and even when people forgive you, it doesn’t always mean that the hurt they feel is instantly healed. Many times, it’s their way of accepting you and believing that you will turn a new leaf. Your duty is to put in your best to make the pains of your hurt by all means possible. That’s what I want to share with on today’s episode of BrojidStepUp.

You see, when you apologise to alleviate the hurt of your offence, forgiveness may be instant; but healing of the hurt from the offence takes time and the balm for its healing is repentance. You need to repent from your old ways that led to the offences as your way of making the emotional wound you may have caused heal.


The people you offend will sometimes forgive you because they believe the offence you committed was not deliberate and that you won’t repeat it. That’s why you shouldn’t break their heart a second time. You shouldn’t offend them again. Don’t subject them through that emotional trauma again. Don’t make them look foolish to have forgiven you. He forgave you and accepted you against the advice of some of his friends; don’t make him look like mumu for that kind gesture of giving you a second chance.


It’s not all the time that people’s forgiveness is a sign that you are completely accepted and the trust your lost restored. Maybe they didn’t expect to get that kind or degree of offence from you; that’s why even though they accepted your apologies for peace to reign, they are still scared that you will offend them again. That’s why as you continue to relate with them you prove to them that you are a changed person. It’s a consistent changed life that assures them that there won’t be a repeat of your offence.


The wound of the hurt gets healed as you relate with them and there is no repeat of the offence you have been forgiven of. Apologise; but know that it’s not enough! Go beyond apologies to living a changed life. Resolve and do what you have to do to have a changed life. That’s the best and easiest way to heal the emotional hurts people have sustained because of your offence.


Also note that even when your apologies are rejected, living a changed life can earn you total forgiveness without having to apologise again. I don’t know how you think or behave; but for me, it’s more important to me that you change your way than apologising to me. You know why, whether you apologise or not, the Holy Bible teaches me to forgive and that’s why I have no option but to forgive. However, what I don’t want is a repeat of offence; it’s hurts me specially!

Related:  Pursue Peace with The Unforgiving


My point?


When you offend people, you should apologise, that’s about the first and most important step to take. However, it’s not all the time that apology heals an offence completely, that’s why you should make the emotional wound get healed faster and completely by living a changed life. Turning a new leaf is a way of saying that the offence was an error that won’t be experienced again. As long as you maintain your repented lifestyle, the hurts and its pains will be erased and the events of the hurts will only be remembered as a historical event.

PS: You can learn more on this subject from my 10-Minutes podcasts, Reacting to People’s Hurts & Offences The Power of Forgiveness & Making Forgiving Easier

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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke is a University of Nigeria trained Biochemist with a Post Graduate Diploma in Mass Communication from Bayero Unversity, Kano. He was a Radio Producer/Presenter at Radio Nigeria's Voice FM, Nsukka; Reporter & presenter at Raypower FM, Kano. At present, he works as the Chief Content Officer at @BrojidWorld and Lead Media Strategist at @FrateeMedia. At Brojid World, he creates blog, podcast and book contents that will inspire you for peak performance in life and work. He is madly in love with Chidinma Eberechukwu (tsurenotes.com) who agreed to be the wife of his youth!

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