There is hardly any relationship where the parties never disagree. While, many relationships have broken down because of disagreement, some have waxed stronger as a result. I have had my own fair share of disagreement in same sex, opposite sex and family relationships that’s why on Peak Lifestyle this week, I’d like to start sharing with you how to disagree with someone you love without your relationship disintegrating.

It will take some time and that’s why I broke my thoughts into a series I entitled, Disagreeing without Disintegrating. For this week, let me show you an important truth many people are not aware of that crash their relationships despite their great potentials.


The fact that you are madly in love with someone who may even be mader in love with you doesn’t in any way mean you will never disagree. Disagreement with your love or people that are dear to you doesn’t necessarily mean absence of love, it simply is a revelation of areas where you haven’t come to common ground and attained unity yet.


Therefore, your reaction to disagreement with someone who you relate with or who you are in love with shouldn’t be to quit the relationship, start complaining to every Tom, Dick and Harry or resenting him. You should make efforts to reach common grounds and attain unity in that area.


Disagreement is almost unavoidable between two different people. To fully understand why you disagree, let me introduce you to the person you are in a relationship with.  You are in a relationship with a full grown adult like you who grew from a background different from yours, read books different from the ones you read, listened to different pastors/imams and had different experiences from you. All these variables formed his world view and strong convictions in life.


So, when you find yourselves disagree, it’s not because you can never work or walk together or that there is no love between you. It’s only natural since you are two different human beings who have come together to unify forces. It’s a confirmation of your differences that needs to be ironed out. It’s a revelation of the fact that you are yet to walk in total unity. It’s a wake up call for you to settle down and harmonize your views and attain the unity you require to be able to walk together.


It’s a statement of fact that two people cannot walk together unless they agree. The areas you disagree with the one you are in a relationship with is where you cannot walk together. If you disagree on your view towards finance, you won’t walk together in that regard. If you disagree in your spirituality, you won’t walk together spiritually. That’s why I admonish you to put in your best to reach an agreement so that you can walk together and harness all the potentials that your relationship has.



My point?


Disagreement is bound to happen between you and people you have relationship with. Don’t allow the disagreement disintegrate your relationships with all their potentials to turn out great. Always bear in mind that disagreement is not absence of love but only a revelation of the degree and aspects you haven’t attained unity. If you care about the survival and growth of your relationship, your job is to work towards finding common grounds where you disagree.


Until we meet again on the next edition of Peak Lifestyle, where I will share with you another insight on the matter, I’d like you totake these Next Steps:

  1. Outline what areas and degree of differences your disagreements with people you relate with either in your family, workplace, school or church reveal.
  2. List five (5) things you can do to reach a common ground on those areas with people you relate with.
  3. Put to practice your answers in no2 above.


Join me next week on Peak Lifestyle as we learn how to protect our relationships from disintegrating because of disagreement.


Meanwhile, if you need more help on how to ensure your relationship doesn’t disintegrate because of disagreement, get in touch with us for a live or online coaching session. Do well to freely share this post with another person. It may be what someone needs to attain peak performance in his life and work.


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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke, Radio producer/OAP at Radio Nigeria Voice96.7FM, and publicist, is the curator of Brojid.com. At Brojid World, he creates contents and provides training, mentoring, coaching and inspiration for peak performance in your life and work through blog posts, podcasts, books and training. You can follow him on social media by clicking on any of these social media icons. To get his daily inspirational and insightful broadcast on WhatsApp, connect with him with: 0810 550 4664

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