WHEN RELATIONSHIP BECOMES A DISTRACTION

It is good to be in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, especially in preparation for marriage. As a matter of fact, if you are not yet in love, you will still be in one as soon as you are close to getting married.

Please note that whenever, I, Brojid, talks about being in love between unmarried people, I’m never talking about a relationship between members of the opposite sex where the parties are involved indulge in sexual intimacy. To do that is to go contrary to God’s order – which makes it a sin.

Having said that, let me also tell you that being in love is not bad at all if you are qualified for it. Whether it turns out bad for you depends on the way you handle it and whether you are qualified for it. (To ascertain whether you are qualified to be in love, see earlier article, entitled, Qualified to be in Love.

Today, my focus is to show you pointers that your relationship, which may be qualified for has become a distraction to you as a youth or student.

Relationships involve coming together of two or more people who have like-minded for the mutual benefit of each other. It’s supposed to create a positive effect on your future.When your relationship is doing the opposite, know that it has entered the realm of distraction. Examples of where your relationship enters the realm of distraction includes when the person wastes your time in unproductive discussions and fun.

The limitation to your building your great future resulting from distracting relationship manifests in a number of ways.

When It Becomes Time Wasting

One of the ways relationships becomes a distraction is when it becomes a waste of time. If you are in a relationship where you spend your time on the phone or one on one with your partner without adding value to each other, especially as it concerns your future, you must have wasted time. Gisting is not bad; it’s allowed, but too much of it is bad. Also, when you spend more time than required at the expense of your job, business or academic, it is a wasteful use of time. Even if you are discussing an important matter, you are doing it at the wrong time.

Constant Emotional Trauma

If you are in a relationship where you are constantly traumatized emotionally, it’s a distraction. I understand that sometimes you can go through emotional torture when you are in a relationship, especially when there is an emotional tie between you and your partner. This usually results when he/she is in danger, sick or annoys you. If you are not careful, this can shatter your day if not your week. The reason is that when you are emotionally disturbed by someone you love, it affects your whole day except you can do what I call Emotional Lock Switch off(An explanation of this will be a story for another day). But what I am saying here now is that if you are in a relationship when you’re constantly bringing you emotional torture, it will have an effect is your effectiveness at work, school and your overall pursuit in life. Personally, I have tried as much as possible  to get my friends in the best emotional state for effectiveness and begged them not to get me in a bad state.

When It Saps Your Investment Capital

Life, as we all know, is more like a sow and reap affair. The implication is that you sow seeds that will bring about the future you desire. Every money you get today, has a portion of it that is supposed to be a seed for your future. Please I’m not talking about the one our pastors tell us to sow in the church. I’m talking about the one you sow in bookshops, newspaper stands, seminar centres and workshops to reap a knowledge, skill and experience. There is also a portion of it that is meant for other things like helping your needy neighbour or your upkeep.

We also know that if you love someone, whether you are in a relationship with the person or not, you will like to give to him/her. When you are in a relationship, it becomes more like a responsibility to give to him/her. However, if this giving goes as far as taking your investment capital, it becomes a distraction to your future. That is why it’s important that you explain clearly to the person, what you can afford and what you can’t afford. Also, let the person know your worth and your financial commitments. This boils down to what I said in that article, Qualified to be in Love.

The truth is: if you love somebody, you will always want to do something good for him or her. The problem is when you know that you are only managing to survive and build yourself up and you start sharing the money with a lady to make hair. Wait until when you can spend such money without stealing, lying to your parents or cheating on your destiny. It’s better!

My friends know that I can’t spare my money to make their hair, but they can give them my home and abroad to buy books for them or pay for their seminar. That’s what matters to us now.

If you find that your relationship is load of distraction for you, you can do two things: repair it or cut out! Please, before check out, try a repair, when if a repair didn’t work, you can then check out. Meanwhile, next week I will suggest a repair mechanism, keep a date with me.