Positioned to Receive Your Uncle’s Help
In the post, You Need Your Uncle’s Help, I explained that you need your uncle’s help and my goal in that post is to open your eyes to the value that you can drive from the blessings of having older relations that could help you with a guide, mentoring and even money. On this week’s edition of Youth Mentor, I want to show you five ways to position to receive your uncle’s help.
Recognize that You Need Him
The starting point of positioning yourself to receive your uncle’s help is recognizing that you need your his help. The truth is that you will not seek help from someone you don’t think has any help to offer you. In fact, when such one offers to help you, you will disdain him.
Just in case you are still thinking you are so good and powerful that you don’t need your uncle’s help, the truth of life is that your parents don’t have everything that you need to grow and God has deposited some of them in your uncle.
Like I said in that last post, your parents may have money, education and intimacy to God; but that doesn’t make your uncle’s useless. There are some inputs they could make in your life and so you should position yourself to get it. For more on the value your uncle can give you, please see my post, You Need Your Uncle’s Help.
Seek His Help
Aside this recognition, you need to make the move to see his help. It’s not enough to recognize that you need your uncle’s help or that he can help, you have to make the move to ask that you may be answered.
Please don’t sit down waiting for your uncle to call you or come and fine out what you need, make the move and ask for them. Drop that silly entitlement mentality many of our peers have and go to your uncle and seek help when you need it. Even if your father or mother nursed his mother and him, it doesn’t make him a slave to you.
If he doesn’t ask after you, ask after him because you are the one that needs his help. If he doesn’t check on you, check ok him because you are the one that needs him, at least for now. Meanwhile, some uncles don’t check on you, not because they don’t care; but because they are so busy with work and their family that they don’t even remember everybody that should be checked on.
Ignore His Imperfections
One other important thing you need to do to position for your uncle’s help is to ignore his imperfection. The reality of life is that nobody is perfect. We all, including your father and mother, have at least a character flaw.
So, as you hear gist about your uncle’s flaws ignore it and stick with what you can do together. Bear in mind that the person telling about your uncle’s flaws has his too. The fact that he is a womanizer, as an example, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have business or career sense to share with you; so sit down with him for that sense and reject his promiscuous lifestyle! You hear?
By all means, hate his womanizing; but don’t extend the hatred to him. If he ever asks your opinion about it, express it clearly without insulting him. But don’t let it affect the way you relate with him. Very importantly, let the love for him drive you to pray for him and possibly expose him to material that could help him deal with his weaknesses.
Stick to Common Ground
You see, for two people to walk together, they have to agree. By all means, eliminate anything that will bring bad blood in your relationship with your uncle. Some people take political opinions to heart and so when you differ with him, thread with caution in expressing your political views.
I am not saying you should pretend that the President that has lead Nigeria is from People’s Club Party, when deep down in your heart you think they are the worst. I no dey for that one o. What I do in a situation when I don’t want to express a strongly opposing view before my elders is just to sit down and be smiling. My point is that when you want to express that you don’t agree to such practice; don’t make them look stupid by the way you express yourself.
Make Yourself Accessible
You can’t get help from your uncle when they don’t even know you and to how to reach you. It’s not done. You have to reach out to them and make yourself accessible to them. Let them have your phone number, know your level so that when an opportunity opens for them to help you, they can easily direct the help to you. That’s how we roll.
Your uncles have the capacity to make life better and easier for you and you have to position yourself to be helped by them. You position yourself by recognizing that he can be valuable to you, ignore your differences, reach out to him for help, stick to common ground and make yourself accessible.