7 SCRIPTURAL KEYS TO EFFECTIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Humans can’t help but live with one another. We need one another to survive; even when God wants to reach out to us, He uses humans.

We live and relate with one another in our family, church, school, and marketplace and even in public places like cues, public transports and business centres.

However, many people have failed to understand and cash in on effective relationship with one another. Some of us have recorded very little success in relationship with our fellow human that our relationship is trouble ridden.

That’s why this week on Scriptural Sense, I want to share with you seven keys that can help you relate effectively with one another and reduce, if not, end conflict in our interpersonal relationships.

Love Your Neighbour as Yourself

Love yourself as yourself is not just about your state of heart; it’s about the way you treat the other person. It’s about the way I treat you.

When you love your neighbour as you love yourself, you awaken your senses and attitude to do him/her good and not offend him. You won’t plot evil or downfall for someone you love as yourself.

How do you come to the state of loving your neighbour as you love yourself?  I don’t know line by line steps to achieve this but I believe it’s birthed by God not human methods.

You need to be fully persuaded in your heart that to love your neighbour as yourself is the word of God you and I must stick with. Don’t argue it away or you will weaken your resolve to obey it.

Then in your dealings with people, make conscious effort to ensure you do to them only what you will love them to do to you. Even when you fail, correct yourself and continue in your quest to do to them as you would want them to do to you.

Don’t Bottle Offence

I can’t guarantee that you won’t be offended by those that you relate with; even if you love them as yourself. What I mean is that that man that loves you enough to come and propose to you or the girls that overlook all the rich guys to marry you, can still offend you.

But, if you want your relationship not to turn soar, you must not bottle offences. Open up and let the person know that he offended you; dont keep it in your heart and be boiling.

Allow the anger to cool off; before you open up on the offence; otherwise, opening up will only give birth to acrimony instead of peaceful existence. Be as calm as possible; but let him/her know that you are offended because he may never know. Many offences were borne out of ignorance.

Bottled offences are time bomb that will detonate to shatter any relationship, irreparably. Don’t make such bombs in your relationships, forgive and open up so that such bomb will never be found around you.

Pursue Peace with All Men

As much as possible; pursue peace with all men. This implies that you do your best to make peace with all men. It’s means that you should do everything within your powers to make peace with all men; including the people we tag trouble makers.

There is a limit to what you can do; within the limit of what lies in your hands, pursue peace with all men. Try to live in peace with everybody.

You will meet people who don’t want peace; they are called trouble makers. But just do your best to ensure live in peace with them. If a bus conductor wants trouble by not giving you the appropriate change pursue peace by let it go.

Pursing peace may make you look like a fool because you will endure unfair treatments and forgive easily and quickly so that peace will reign.

Forgive Those that Offend You

Like I hinted earlier, you just have to forgive those that offended you. To forgive means never to count their offence against them. It means that you deal with them as if they never offended you.

Am I saying that it’s easy to forgive those that offended you? No! But Jesus Christ told us to forgive those that offend us so that God will also forgive us. The fact that he teaches us to forgive is the most powerful reason to forgive.

Besides the teaching of Jesus Christ, know that it takes lots of energy to bear grudges such that it’s better to forgive 77 times 7 than to bear grudges.

Don’t wait for apologies; just forgive for your own sake. Forgiving someone becomes easy when you realise that nobody, including you, is so perfect that he never offends.

[Tweet “know that it takes lots of energy to bear grudges such that it’s better to forgive 77 times 7 than to bear grudges.”]

One thing that will make forgiving people easy for you is recognizing that you also offend people. And God has been forgiving you all your sins.

Beware of Gossips

In general gossipers don’t have your interest at heart. Some of them deliberately want to spread bad blood. They fabricate lies about people to reduce them to nothing and elevate themselves. Career gossipers don’t tell the truth all the time. They must gossip and so they generate stories, colour it to make it interesting to the ear.

If you want your relationships with people to last, you must be careful how you listen to gossips.  As much as possible, shut gossips out. Don’t even react based on gossip; watch to confirm or invalidate any such story you get.

Like they day in law, your spouse is innocent of infidelity until proven guilty by a spouse of competence jurisdiction.

When they tell you that your spouse is cheating on you, don’t come and accuse him of infidelity or start carrying long face for him/her. Pretend that the ‘infomat’ just want to break your relationship and continue with your relationship. Even when you confirm, remember that you should forgive and open up.

‘I Am Sorry’ Is Not Costly

Whenever you offend people, go to them and apologise. Beg to be forgiven. It’s not maturity not to beg to be forgiven. Truly mature and strong men beg for forgiveness; even when they did no wrong.

‘I am sorry’ cannot undo what you have done but it will reduce the pains of what you have done. It makes it easier for the person you offended to forgive you.

Please train your mind to be generous with ‘I am sorry’ at every point in time irrespective of their social status and it will save you a whole lot.

Let God Fight for You

When people just decide to fight; don’t fight for yourself. Let God fight for you. No matter how powerful the armies are against you, if God rise up to fight any of them, be sure He will finish them.

We think we can fight for ourselves instead of leaving our battles in God’s hands because we underestimate His powers in our lives. We don’t have enough faith that he can intervene in the affairs of men and wrought miracles in our lives. We so limit his powers that we don’t realise that He can arrange an army on our behalf to fight our  battles.

God fought for Daniel better than he could have fought for himself. Pharaoh and his chariot were more powerful than the Israelites but when God stood by them; their powers couldn’t produce any result for them.

You don’t have to import manipulation techniques or take up arms; go to God in prayer and present your case; He will fight on your behalf. He is a more strategic fighter than you or anybody you call to fight for you.

You and I need each other; and we need to live in harmony. That’s why we must embrace every truth available to ensure we have fruitful relationships. Do your best to ensure your relationship with people doesn’t turn soar!

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