WHEN YOUR PARENTS REJECT YOU

In many families, it’s normal to see parents prefer one child over others. While I do not approve of it, my focus on Youth Mentor this week is to share some important thoughts with you who are not the preferred child on how to handle such situation.

The first thing I like you to do is this: if your not being preferred is a fault of yours, please do something to reverse it. If you have been a disobedient child, please choose not to be. If you have been of bad behaviour, repent from it.

However, there are times you can’t do anything about how people feel about you. It’s just the way they choose to see you. But you have the right to decide how you respond to it or allow it affect you.

Many situations where a child is not preferred, he still gets the basic need every sensible parent give to his child. What he lacks is preferential treatment, pampering and maybe pet names. That’s why I don’t believe that not being preferred is a problem. In fact, in my cases, it’s an advantage because; you get securitized, punished for your offence and corrected, though sometimes, very angrily.

May people have had self esteem injured because their parents’ didn’t prefer them. They felt that they are good enough or less human being than others. Please don’t allow their not preferring you affect your self esteem. You are wonderfully created by God for distinguished role on this earth. Understand that it’s God that created you; not your parents. If they simply choose not to prefer you because of the way God created you, they are the people that have problem not you.

My dear, you owe it to yourself to move on with your life until you become very successful. Please remember that there are many children without parents; don’t make the one you have become an obstacle to you.

If they ‘rejected’ you because they wrote you off as unintelligent, wake up and pursuer your academics with vigor. Don’t conclude that you are not smart; work very hard to prove them wrong. Whatever thing they think you lack that made them conclude you are less a child than others, mind them. Resolve, plan and work hard to make they eat their words of rejection and discrimination.

By the way, I like to draw your attention to something now that we are preparing for parenting. Do your best to love your children equally. Don’t limit your children by esteeming one over the other. You gave birth to all of them. None of them is better than the other. They are just created and wired differently for the purposes God created them on the earth for. Learn to identify the special gift God endowed them with and magnify it. Even in their weakness, don’t write them off, because even you have or at least had your weaknesses.

I like to end by telling you a bit of my story. It’s only one of my parents I suspect have the tendency of having favorites. If my suspicion is true, I doubt if I am the favorite. But my school fees were usually paid when due and my attention has always be called to issues concerning my siblings and any of their misbehavour largly because I am the first child. I was given food and clothing.

Whether I am the favorite or not is what I don’t really know. Believe me; I don’t give a damn! But one thing I can say for sure is that my parents’ strength and weaknesses worked together to make me attain maturity and independence very early.

Allow your parents have their favorites. Mind your business and go on with your life. Please be careful to ensure you don’t build enmity against your sibling who is the favorite or even your parents for such weakness in their parenting. Bear in mind that you are not perfect; so are your parents.

Have a great week!

~Yours Brojid

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