ME BEG FOR LOVE? SAY WETIN HAPPEN?

Once in the course of my conversation with someone on matters of the heart and relationships, I blurted, “Me Beg for Love. Say Wetin Happen?” Surprised, he sought to know why I have that such view. On Relationship Lifestyle this week, my focus is to share with you why I won’t beg anybody to love me and why I don’t think it’s cool for you to beg to be loved.

Love should be Mutual

One of the reasons I have never and don’t plan to beg to be loved is that love is supposed to be mutual. That’s love is not meant to be one-sided. When it’s one sided, one person think that the other is being favoured. I don’t want to be in love with someone who thinks she is doing me a favour because in such relationships, mutual respect is usually lacking. The chance of being treated as a lower human being is very high. And very importantly, NOBODY will be doing me a favour my loving me, as in love relationship. The favour is mutual; if not I’m not interested!

Another thing is that if you beg someone to love you, she may accept because she hasn’t found her ideal man and may check out of your relationships once she finds her man, leaving you heartbroken. Many people have ended up getting chop mate because they begged someone who has no love for them to the point where the girl decided, well, let’s manage this one.

Beggars Are Not choosers.

It’s a truth of life that beggars are not choosers. That’s you can’t be begging and choosing what you will take or not take. If you have to beg someone to love you, it becomes difficult to spell out what you want and don’t want. You are automatically positioned to tolerate virtually anything from the person you are begging. I am not theorising, I have seen even ladies under slavery because they begged a man not to leave them.

I am the man and should lead my relationship. I don’t want to beg so much that I will lose my power to lead, drop my core values and enter a ditch because of love.

She has her likes and dislikes and I have mine. We should bring them on the table and marry them to make our relationship fun. No matter how much I love her, I have core values in life I can’t change and I expect the same from her. It’s easier to get them across when you are on neutral basis; than when someone is thinking ‘I am just doing you a favour; so be careful with your term and conditions.’ You get?

Don’t to be a Nuisance

Many people constitute themselves into a nuisance in the name of love. A girl says no to them and instead of moving on with their lives, they remain there, disturbing life out of the girl. I don’t want to do that! My job is to declare interest; making her say yes or not is not part of my job description in the process of choosing a wife.

I believe any sane and mature girl knows what she wants and what she doesn’t. If you are not her pictured husband and she give a no to your manifesto, take it in good faith and move on with your life. You may be shocked not doubt but wake up from the shock and   move on with your life.

If a girl says no, it’s not fair to become a pest to her. Don’t send people to talk to her. Save your money on credit; use it to call someone else.

In the same vein, if a guy says, directly or indirectly, that he is no longer interested in your relationship or courtship, then mind your business. Love no be by force! No matter how you love him, he is no longer interested! Period! The earlier you realize this, the quicker you move on with your life and embrace the brighter future ahead of you.

“Brojid you are talking as if it’s easy. You think say it dey easy like that?”

Who said it’s easy? How can I say that? No matter how difficult to let go of him/her, you have to do it. No doubt you may be heart-broken, especially if there were no signs. But take super glue, gum you heart and move on with your life.

Please don’t go on begging. You are good enough to command another person’s attention! And peradventure s/he dumped you because you are not, upgrade!

“Brojid you are talking like this because you have not found the person you really really love.”

No; it’s not true. I have once found someone I really really really love. I thought about her all the time. I even used to see her in my dream. Each time I know I going to see her, I feel excited. Her talking with me makes my day. If she agrees to just take a walk with me, the happiness can make me study or work longer than I would have. But I understand it’s either she doesn’t love me enough for relationship that will lead to marriage and I trained my eyes to see her as a normal girl. I talked my heart to remember her once in a very long while as a girl i once loved. It took time but she is just one girl I used to love as far I am concerned.

So, it’s not about not seeing someone I love; it’s that I don’t want someone who will wake up in my house one day I start wondering ‘why on this earth did I marry this man’ because I have distorted her sense of judgement  with my begging.

Propose, I shall do; Begging, Tufia!

For clarity, I like to state that declaration of interest to a girl you love and have good reasons to believe she loves you or is the will of God for your life is not a bad idea. If I will get married, be sure I will do the proposal! However, declaration of interest is not synonymous with begging to be loved. My job is to propose; coercing her to say yes is forbidden. It’s against my religion.

No is not same with Thinking about My Proposal 

When a girl says “Let me think about it”. It’s not the same thing when she says “No”. If she wants to think about it, nothing spoil after all I thought about it before coming with my manifesto but if she wants to think about it forever, I may give her my wedding invite while she is still thinking!

I beg to be Forgiven 

Begging a girl to forgive you is different from begging a girl to love you. It’s only an insane and proud man who won’t beg a girl to forgive her. In fact, sometimes even when you didn’t commit any sin, you beg to be forgiven just so that peace will reign. I have begged for forgiveness on my two knees and she was embarrassed because she didn’t expect it from me.

I maintain: I won’t beg a girl to love me!

You know why?

Beggars are not choosers! Love is meant to be mutual and I don’t want to constitute myself into a nuisance. If she doesn’t like me, nothing spoil! Everybody go like me before?

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