Your Perpetual Offenders May not be Deliberate

Reading Time: 2 minutes

We are often tempted to think that perpetual offenders deliberately offend us; but that’s not a correct thinking. We often think this way because we assume we don’t offend people as much as they do or find it hard to understand why they seem helpless in their flaws and lifestyle you consider offensive. On BrojidStepUp today, I want to show you that the perpetual offender may not offend deliberately. 

The truth is that many perpetual offenders didn’t choose to be so; but either that they don’t know better or that they are under an influence that makes it hard for them not to default.


I understand that there are people who are generally wicked or hate you so much that they always do things to hurt you or don’t care about how their actions and lifestyle affect you negatively. However, there are people who with all sincerity want to make you happy and avoid anything that will hurt you; yet they still offend you in an area.


What I am saying in essence is that your cheating husband may not be that way because he chose to, so that you will be hurt and heartbroken. In the sincerity of his heart, he wanted the last cheating escapade to really be the last but he still found himself in the act.


In the same vein, your wife who seems to lose control of her mouth when she gets angry may not do that as a calculated attempt to offend you. In the course of her anger she said thing she shouldn’t and she is equally aware how such talking strains your relationship.



I’d also like you to know that your boss, colleague, neighbours and even strangers who seem not to have any iota of respect and rain abuses on your at any slightest offence may be helplessly like that. They know how stupid losing their temper makes them look and how it affects their relationship with others; but they seem incapacitated to stop and change for the good.


The bus conductor, banker, preacher, public figure that didn’t treat you well may not have done that deliberately. They are just living out their lives and you found them offensive. They may not have meant to hurt you; yet they ended up doing just that.


My point?


Although there are really wicked people who are out to make life difficult for you, please realise that there are people that offend you without any prior plan to do so. If you understand them, coping with them becomes an easy ride and helping them becomes a fulfilling adventure.Seek to understand the perpetual offender; not under cut him!

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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke, Radio producer/OAP at Radio Nigeria Voice96.7FM, and publicist, is the curator of
Related:  Handling Unforgiving People
At Brojid World, he creates contents and provides training, mentoring, coaching and inspiration for peak performance in your life and work through blog posts, podcasts, books and training. You can follow him on social media by clicking on any of these social media icons. To get his daily inspirational and insightful broadcast on WhatsApp, connect with him with: 0810 550 4664

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