WHEN SEXUAL URGE COMES
As healthy humans, the urge to have sex comes once in a while. In fact, for us youths, it comes more frequent and can exert very strong force. My focus today is to consider what we should do whenever it comes.
Before I go into what we should do, let me tell you two things many youths do which we should not.
Many youths like you and I allow the urge to control them; thus, they end up having sex even when it’s not with the right person. But you and I must not do that.
You know why?
It’s a sin! It’s going against God’s configuration of life and existence which ultimately results in regrets, pains and malfunctioning of life.
Let me remind you that to have sex with someone who is not your spouse is a sin. In his book, Great Faith Can Be Yours, Pastor Bankie laments, “Oh Satan is a liar. The truth is that sexual immorality kills heroes.” He continues, “Sexual immorality leaks the spirit and few things kill spiritual ability like it. If you doubt me, remember David and Solomon; in both lives the only problems they had with the Lord stemmed from leakage of spiritual power through desire for women.”
My friend, we want to please God and He expects us to maintain chastity in our relationships. We want to please God our father and prevent leakage of the spiritual and physical energy God has deposited in us to do exploit. That is why we must not give in to the urge to have sex.
The second way some youths respond to sexual urge is to masturbate themselves. Again, this is not the method we shall use. Contrary to what many believe, masturbation is not the way out. To many people, it seems cool to masturbate but I must tell you this: you must not see it as the way out. In weeks ahead, I will tell you more about masturbation but let me briefly talk about it now.
Some people believe that it’s the way to ease off the pressure of the urge for sex but in reality, it only heighten the desire for the real things. It can only ease the tension for a while but will leave you craving for the real thing – sex. It’s not true to say that it’s helping yourself by masturbating.
There has been question about whether masturbation is a sin. I cannot categorically tell you that it’s a sin but my understanding of the scriptures shows me that it’s not encouraged and has almost the same consequence as sex.
In his letter to the Colossian Christians, Apostle Paul said, “So, put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you…” (Col 3:5).
Masturbation is an act that puts to life earthly desires like fornication. That’s why I don’t believe it’s in keeping with Bible teachings to say that masturbation is ok. (For more on this, wait for my post Righteousness of Masturbation in weeks ahead.)
I have pointed out two ways people respond to their urge for sex. I didn’t say them to make you feel condemned; my focus is just to show you how we must respond to sexual urge so that if your do any of them, you will start praying and working towards overcoming it.
So, how should you and I respond to this urge when it comes?
Control it! Nothing else is cool!
You see the way you sometimes feel like hitting that annoying ‘conductor’ or beating that weakling that offend you but you restrained yourself that how you and I must respond to sexual urge.
In fact, I believe that why the Bible talked the Spirit of self control is because we really need it in a world where by just walking on the street, you are watching soft porn. We need self control in a world where musician, movie makers and advertising agencies have decided that they can’t do without infusion of at least soft porn in their production.
Apart from the influence of spirit of self control, there are some practical things I have done to help myself in the quest for godly response to sexual urge.
Set Boundaries in your relationships
One of the key things I learnt from that Jehovah’s Witness book Questions Young people Ask on maintaining chastity is setting boundaries in my relationship with the opposite sex. For me, some of the boundaries I had to set are no meeting in dark or isolated places. It may sound extreme but they are measures to avoid blaming the devil. It’s instructive to note here that when I broke the boundaries, I almost did it. It took God to save me.
No hugging and kissing. “Brojid are you saying it’s a sin to kiss or hug someone I am in love with? No! That’s not what I am saying. I am only saying that they are precursors to sexual sin. Kissing is a form of foreplay. Maybe my system works differently, I can’t hug and kiss a girl I like and remain the same. Many people have confirmed that it’s their experience.
Fill your heart with truths
Make effort to listen and read truth about sexual sin. It will weaken the desire for it and encourage you to remain steadfast in your resolve for chastity. Like I said before, listening to Pastor Bankie’s Habitation of God and Zac Poonen Messages and books has been extremely helpful to me.
I also want to point out that many times I go to God in prayer asking for his help; especially when I suspecting that the temptation will get stronger due to an unavoidable environment.
Bros, when I was very small, there was this gist around that if you didn’t have sex, your body will have more sperm cell than it should and it will make you fall sick. Lie! God arranged your system to get rid of excessive sperm cells through a process called – wet dream or nocturnal emission. It’s not spirit wife, except you got married to anyone. It’s biology. Period. Some youths around you may not experience it because they manually get out theirs.
My sister don’t fall for any lie that you lose something by not having sex. I read a story of one girl in on edition of Saturday Telegraph complaining that her husband whom she loves can’t satisfy her because another man has created a space his jonny cannot fully occupy. Even if you don’t want to maintain chastity as a way of obeying God, believe me, it’s cool to do for the pride of not being a one-time public toilet.
What have I said today? Sexual urge will come; not once but always. But we must not let it control us. We must do everything in our power to control it!
May God’s grace be available to us in Jesus name. Amen!