What’s the Big Deal about Kissing?

What’s the Big Deal about Kissing?

In my interactions among single people in the issue of relationship with the opposite sex, the question of kissing often comes up. I understand the reason for this to be that there is a natural craving among healthy people in love to get close physically. It’s God’s design for the good and sustenance of mankind; but it’s for an appointed time. So, the big question about kissing is: is it a sin to kiss someone I am in love with whom I’m even going to marry? On this week’s edition of Relationship Square, I will give you an answer that will guide you into making the best choice that will lead you into a regret free future.

To the question of whether it’s a sin to kiss, my answer is an emphatic NO. My reason is that I can’t point to any scripture that says so. However, oftentimes people say it’s a sin because they understand that it’s not a wonderful act for unmarried people. But what I believe is that when we want to discourage habits and lifestyles, we should do so without misinterpreting the scriptures to say what it did not say. Before you run off with the idea that I endorse kissing among unmarried people, please read to the next thing I want to say.


Although, the act of kissing among single people can’t be conclusively called sin, I dare say that kissing is a sinless act which you must avoid if you are really serious about avoiding sexual sin.


We shouldn’t sit down arguing about whether it’s sin or not because the real deal about it is where it leads you to. I am not saying that once you kiss, you commit fornication; however, I am 99.756% sure that you will eventually commit fornication when you kiss long enough!


Apostle Paul admonished the youthful Timothy to flee youthful lust. In his letter to the Colossian church, he encouraged them to put to death anything exhibited by their body that is not of God.

So put everything evil out of your life: sexual sin, doing anything immoral, letting sinful thoughts control you, and wanting things that are wrong. (Col3:5ERV) 

From his writings, I understand that the fact that fornication is a sin is not to be argued. However, he was teaching that they should avoid acts and conditions that will lead them to the act. That’s the real place where the battle for chastity is won. It’s when we fail to win here that we move unto smooching, light romance and eventually commit sexual sin before marriage.


Jesus teaches that we shouldn’t just be content with not fornicating; but ensure that we don’t also do it in our heart. Most times, kissing is an overflow of lust and that’s why you may not be innocent when you kiss. You crossed the line of lust into giving it expression. Please don’t accuse me of being overly sin conscious; I am only calling you and me to the higher way of life. I am equally reminding you and I that it’s not enough to remain chaste and not commit fornication but ensure that lust does not have dominion over me.


You see, sex hardly happen by accident; especially among people that don’t want to indulge in it. The mind is prepared for sex and once the preparation is complete, sex happens easily and naturally. The series of activities designed to prepare the mind and body for sex is called foreplay.



Kissing is a form of foreplay and one of the steps in sex cycle. My argument is that it doesn’t make any sense to initiate a process you don’t want to see its completion. I understand that the body feels like doing it and it’s a sign that you are alive and well; however, there is time for everything, including kissing!



It’s huge foolishness to engage in kissing; yet, claim that you don’t want to go full length. You may not commit fornication with your first, second and even third kiss; but every act of kissing draws you closer to the act. It weakens your ability to resist the temptation for sex and heightens the craving for it. Only a fool or deceived sniffs the food he doesn’t want to eat and claim it’s just sniffing!


By the way, ask yourself why you even want to kiss someone. Don’t always pretend that it’s because you love him or her. I may not doubt that you really love him or her. However, there are less harmful means of expressing that love than kissing. Is it not lust that is propelling your kiss move? Is it not because you have been overpowered by your emotions? That’s why to BrojidBae I say, instead of kissing me to express your love before our wedding, please buy me roasted-corn with chilled zobo or any media and marketing book. They will suffice!


One sure sign that kissing is something you shouldn’t do as a single is that you can’t really talk about it boldly among your brethren with high moral standard. Unless you belong to churches where there are no moral values in the name of being the righteousness of God in Christ, you cannot boldly announce that you kissed someone that’s not your spouse in the name of brotherly love.


The big deal about kissing is that even though we may not categorically call it a sin; it’s a precursor for sex. The fact that you didn’t go full length in fornication and still experience the power of God through your life doesn’t make it harmless. Just like cancer, it may take years for you to see its effect in your life and walk with God.


Before I leave for this week, let me remind you the words of Apostle Paul, who was not just a youth but remained unmarried and full of the Holy Spirit, to Timothy a youth like you and I.

Stay away from the evil things a young person like you typically wants to do. Do your best to live right and to have faith, love, and peace, together with others who trust in the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Tim 2:22ERV) 


My point?


The desire to kiss someone you love and possibly have sex is a possibility. It’s one sign that God created you and that you are very healthy. However, God not only put the desire in us, he set time for its expression. Your single phase is most certainly not the time for kissing. Kissing is not just a one off act; it’s an act that will eventually lead you to the sin of lust and fornication. Kissing may not be a sin; but it’s that sinless act you must stay away from if you are serious about overcoming sinful sex.


PS: You can download a FREE copy of our book on this subject HERE

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