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I have observed a syndrome on campus which has mounted undue pressure on people as well as directed people’s attention wrongly. It’s what I call Grab Your Copy Now Syndrome. Please let me explain. This is a condition whereby a guy or lady believes she must get a potential spouse on campus and therefore goes about his relationship on campus with the mindset that he must get a wife or husband on campus before graduation. My focus is to show you how this is wrong and help you with a better attitude to love on campus.

It’s not a bad idea that you see your spouse on campus but it’s a wrong mindset to believe that he or she must be on campus with you now; since that will keep your eyes closed to possible better spouses elsewhere and even constitute a distraction to you.

From my observations right from my primary six till date, I have come to note that you may see someone you consider the best possible spouse today and suddenly you see another person in a month’s time that looks far better than what you considered your best. So, if you go on with life on campus believing she must be there and therefore entangle one person in the form of engagement, you limit yourself from getting possible better ‘stock’ at NYSC camp or your work place.

Right now, I am neither married nor engaged to anybody but I have seen correct ladies I feel will be able to occupy the Offfice of Mrs Joseph Dinwoke but I refuse to entangle them because they may not be the best for me when it’s time to get married. Meanwhile, I don’t want to waste any ladies time; I am too busy to be in love now.

Once a lady told me that her father is not expecting her back home after school without a husband or someone seriously interested in marrying her. I choose to believe she was just joking. But if she were serious, that’s wrong. One, this lady is under a kind of pressure to grab a ‘copy’ before she leaves campus. It makes her look out to be chased or expect men to talk to her. She may even get to point of finding it difficult to be wise in her decision and choice of among the numerous people that will come. Her desperation may even get her eyes closed to see those that just came around to waste her time.

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If you are in her shoes, please be freed from undue pressure. Spouses can be met in so many other places apart from campus. I mean, you will go for NYSC, you will go to work and still live is a human society. In one of these places, he will locate you. Just get busy qualifying for real men and in due season, they will locate you.

Another problem I have with grab your copy now syndrome is that you will get emotional entanglement when you are not ready for it. If you have the capacity to be in love and effective student, thumbs up for you. But many can’t because of emotion capital required. However, they dabble into it because they believe they must grab a copy before they leave campus. This has injured many students’ grades and I wish you won’t be the next person.

On a more practical note, you can have friends on campus (I don’t mean sex partners, please) but have no serious emotional attachment or make any commitment to them, pending the time, you will be ready for matters of the heart. If at that point, they are still available and are interested in you, you go on with engagement and marriage.

Someone might be asking: “Brojid, what if someone else takes over and you can’t find a better person?” Impossible!!! You see, my life is piloted by a Force greater than me and the lady I should marry; not even my planning and strategies. God is the Master Planner of my life because I have surrendered my life to Him. He has far better plan that whatever plan, I can come up with. He properly understands how important a competent wife is for the assignment He created me to do on the earth. If the person I consider perfect for me is truly the one, by the time I am ready to engage or marry her, she will still be available for me. If someone takes over a lady I am interested in she really needs to go; because God has found her or even me unfit for her.

So, I don’t try to grab any lady on campus because I think she is the one while I am not at all ready to get emotional attachment to any lady for the fear that I may lose her; because my life is in God’s hand and He has a way of securing what is mine.

Please note that I am not saying that you can’t meet your spouse on campus, I am only saying that it’s wrong to think you must get him or her before you leave school.

What have I said in all today? To go about your relationships on campus with the mindset and attitude that you must get a spouse on campus before graduation can be injurious to your grades and emotions. It also caps you down to few options to make your choice and mount undue pressure on you to get emotional attachment that won’t favour your academic performance. If you understand that there is time for everything and God is a master planner of those that fear Him, you will relax and take life one at a time.

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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke, Radio producer/OAP at Radio Nigeria Voice96.7FM, and publicist, is the curator of At Brojid World, he creates contents and provides training, mentoring, coaching and inspiration for peak performance in your life and work through blog posts, podcasts, books and training. You can follow him on social media by clicking on any of these social media icons. To get his daily inspirational and insightful broadcast on WhatsApp, connect with him with: 0810 550 4664

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