It’s About Successful Marriage; not Society Wedding!

Today, I want to share another thought that will help clear the fog in your eyes so that you can see your spouse and get united soon.

One of the fogs that make it hard for people to find their spouse is that they have their eyes fixed on society wedding, instead of a successful marriage.

That’s why when ladies consider who they want to marry, they have it top on their mind that their husband must be able to give them the wedding of the century; not who will give them fulfilling family life.

At the same time, the young man that should get married and stop wasting Ngozi’s time won’t take the needed step because his wedding must be like Femi’s.

In fact, some of them even take such shameful step like marrying a woman because her parents are wealthy and will bring money for celebrity wedding.

Aru!

You see, the quality of husband material is not measured by the degree to which he can host society wedding.

My reason is that a man’s financial capacity has little or nothing to do with his ability to be a good husband and father!

The foolishness in marrying a man because of his capacity to give you society wedding is that society wedding is a day’s event and its memory is only transient!

I mean, it borders on stupidity and foolishness to make lasting decision of a marriage partner on the basis of temporal, half a day and wasteful event called society wedding.

Usually, society wedding of wrong partners often create buzz, that’s why the boo they get at divorce is equally loud!

Please understand that marriage is designed for the male and female to come together to unite forces with each other for better results in life.

Equally understand that in marriage, peaceful existence and unity is required to achieve the ultimate goal.

Based on these, I conclude that success in marriage is achieving these things in the highest degree possible.

Therefore, in your choice of spouse, your emphasis should be on someone that will multiply you and with him you can be united in your values, ideas and philosophy for multiplied productivity.

It shouldn’t be based on someone that can give you the wedding of the century.

Just in case you don’t know: be informed that society wedding has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the success of a marriage!

It doesn’t guarantee peace in the marriage.

In fact, many times, it only results to a strain on your marriage because you borrow to make it happen and live fake life to keep up with it.

Oftentimes people succumb to the pressure for society wedding because of what people will say; that’s why I tell you…

Forget about what your mates will say about the fact that your wedding reception is in your church youth hall or primary school nearby. If they are so concerned, they should pay for a tush hotel for you!

Don’t worry about the fact that your wedding will not be the talk of the town; be concerned about making your marriage and children the talk of the world!

And Just in case you want to host society wedding to show your classmates that you have succeed, you need help – urgently.

If you have problem of inferiority complex, book a therapy session with me. Hosting a wedding you can hardly afford is not the cure for your low self-esteem; it’s simply healing your wound on the surface! Just go and host the wedding you can afford and let tongues wag!

Many people have started their marriages on faulty foundation because they want to have society wedding. They borrowed money to make their wedding talk of the town; and spent their first few years settling the pressure of debt.

I strongly believe it’s pure idiocy and stupidity to borrow one Kobo to have a society wedding!

Please wedding is not a business venture where you can borrow with the plan that you will recoup your investment after the guest have paid for their rice and drinks through monetary gifts.

For me, wedding is a celebration of having found my MrsBrojid. I will invite you to witness us exchange our vows, pray for us and I should entertain you my guest; thus the reception. It’s not a time to get money from my uncles, friends and relations!

I have no issues with giving people money and gift. It’s actually a good old practice because for me it’s a way of sending the two people forth to succeed.

Moreover, it’s a way of supporting the man for the expense he has incurred in paying the girl’s bride price which is in line with the scripture that says bear one another burden.

But it’s not at all a business venture!

I need to be a stupid goat to incur expenses that will put strain on my marriage because I am counting on anybody’s envelope and gift.

What if they don’t turn up?

It’s not a deal; neither is it a business. It’s simply your wedding! People support you as much as they can; it is not a  plan for enriching yourself.

I have seen people who treated wedding like a business venture spend the first few years of their marriage settling debt! If I can’t gain wisdom from their mistakes, then it must be bread particles; not brain cells that are encased in my skull!

‘Brojid, why do you hate society wedding?’

Me, hate society wedding?

Mbanu! No, I don’t!

I like it for the rice, plenty chicken, cozy environment and professional event managers.

But I hate it for the sorry state it lands those that can’t comfortably afford it; but insist on it because they want to keep up with the Joneses!  I hate it for the girls and guys that tarry in their singleness because to them, “it’s either society wedding or nothing”.

Please if you can comfortably afford it, go ahead and don’t forget to invite me.

I’d like to come and chaw pounded yam and thick egusi soup laced with big big fish; while a DJ wey sabi dey play better gbedu.😊

My point?

Bros, stop dragging your feet about taking her to your parents because you can’t host society wedding. It’s not about society wedding; it’s about a successful marriage!

Nne, say ‘yes’ to that sane and sensible man whom you know for sure is a competent husband and get married to him. Stop waiting until he ‘hammers’. Say ‘yes’ to the right man because it’s about successful marriage; not society wedding!

PS: If you find these thoughts hard to swallow, drink 35Cl chilled Zobo to force it down. It works all the time.

Except from the book, Clear the Fog to See Your Spouse