YOU OFFEND PEOPLE
As long as you live in human society and interact with people, you will, at least once in a while, offend them and that offence can be hurtful. While the offended should learn how handle offences, you that offended someone has a responsibility in ensuring that your offences doesn’t break relationships that matter to you or lead to violence. That’s why on BrojidStepUp today, I am starting a series of to share what we should do when we offend people.
I understand that you may have good intentions and maybe careful in ensuring cordial relationship with people you interact with; however, you need to realize that despite your good intentions and attempts at maintaining harmony in your relationships, you may not be able to entirely eliminate the chances of offence. So, realise that you indeed offend people!
I am not bringing this to your notice to make you live in guilt, fear or feel condemned. My goal is help you look inwards and appraise your life and relationships with people and be more careful so that you don’t offend people you interact with, especially those that matter in your life.
Also, I want you to learn to respond rightly when you offend people because there is a right and wrong response to offences. Right response quenches the fire of hurts; however, wrong response flares it up. Whenever, you offend people, your goal should not be to defend yourself but to make peace. Your explanation is not as important as securing peace! I have had to learn this truth the hard way.
Again, although you never intended to offend people and have conducted yourself, spoken and lived in a manner so as not to offend them, you still, sometimes, offend people and some of such offences have festered into bitterness. That’s why you shouldn’t give offence any chance to fester and grow into deep seated hurts that may never get healed in a lifetime.
In all fairness to you, I understand that you may not even know that you have offended someone when they take offence. A reason for this is that you are not aware that someone will find your action or words offensive. I mean you didn’t think anything of it; yet someone finds it offensive because you have different personality, world views and values. But again, that doesn’t justify your offending people; it simply calls for more efforts from you to understand people, their differences and decide how best to relate with them in peace.
That, perhaps, is why your relationship crashed without your realising what may have led to it. That’s why you have lost customers and clients without knowing why they never came back. That may be why even though you have the money, someone doesn’t just want to do business with you. That may be the reason for your spouse’s change of attitude and behavior in recent times.
Please know that offending people is far beyond the offence; the real deal is the consequence of that offence. The real deal is not just how they feel; it’s their next line of action that speaks volume. That’s why I want you to discern offences and uproot them before they fester.
Even when we don’t realize it, we offend people in our daily interactions and that may have planted the seed of bitterness and anger in them. It’s important we pay attention in our relationship so as to ensure we don’t offend people without making effort to alleviate the pains of the offence.
All the best in your relationships!
PS: You can learn more on this subject from my 10-Minutes podcast, Reacting to People’s Hurts & Offences