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Last Friday evening, at 9.26pm, I had a phone encounter that gave me one of the biggest shockers of my life. I got a call from a strange number and he introduced himself with a name I’m a bit familiar with in my class and pointed that he is the husband of one my course mates. At first, I was worried wondering if something bad had happened to my course mate that bears the similar name to him. But the man gave me one of the greatest shockers of my life – he accused me of wife snatching!


What happened? I was nominated to be the Class Governor of my class (am taking a professional course now in Ikeja) and I needed to send information to my classmates about our class the following day. Here is my text message to all of them:  “Goodpm dear. Called our lecturer for our lecture morrow, and he agreed to start our class at 9.00am. Please do your best to be punctual so we’ll still cover and still have our breaks. Enjoy your sleep! –Joseph”


The man that called me to start, “I am calling you concerning the text message you sent to me wife, addressing her as dear and telling her to enjoy her sleep.”  Wondering what the matter is with the text, I said, “Ok” urging him to go on. “Please am not OK with that kind of text message, you are a married man and you know that this can break a home.”


I am neither a married man nor suspected that this text message can break any home. But my wahala at that point was not defending my marital status, but freeing myself from the web of allegations.



Now, in a tone mixed with shock and apologies, I responded “Sir, please the text message was not personalized to your wife. Even the guys in my class got the same message. Those words were harmless…” he interrupted, “I have told you, don’t send my wife that kind of message again!”


It was at this point that I realized that he actually thought I actually wanted to snatch her wife. I started boiling in anger for reading such meaning from words intended to make my message nice to be nice and polite.


It was at this point I profusely apologized for any harm my text may have done to his marriage. “Sir, am sorry for whatever damage my text may have done to your marriage; I didn’t mean evil.” And that was how the call was ended; telling me that there is no problem.


It got me thinking… about relationships and marriage.


Personally, I see no harm in the words I used. Maybe it’s because I was raised in a cycle where brothers and sisters refer to each other as darling with no string attached. For me, ‘dear’ is just a way of sounding nice and I don’t see why I sending text messages by 10 pm without wishing my recover enjoyable sleep.


I’m still wondering what must have led to this misconception. Could it be that the man is insecure in his relationship? Or maybe his wife renders conjugal services to apart from the one who has the exclusive right to get her services? Or did I go too far in my choice of words?



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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke, Radio producer/OAP at Radio Nigeria Voice96.7FM, and publicist, is the curator of At Brojid World, he creates contents and provides training, mentoring, coaching and inspiration for peak performance in your life and work through blog posts, podcasts, books and training. You can follow him on social media by clicking on any of these social media icons. To get his daily inspirational and insightful broadcast on WhatsApp, connect with him with: 0810 550 4664


  • Lydia

    He is probably insecure..well you might need to be more selective with ‘nice’ words to avoid a repeat occurrence…Enjoy ur classes DEAR

  • Irving

    I’m extremely impressed with your writing abilities and also with
    the layout to your blog. Is this a paid subject matter or did you customize it your self?

    Anyway stay up the excellent quality writing, it is rare
    to look a great weblog like this one these days..

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