BROS: IMMUNITY TO HER SEDUCTION

Bros, I want to share something I consider important to you. On a normal day, I won’t write this kind of letter to you, but realizing that we have resolved for chastity as single youths, I decided to share with you a truth I learnt in my quest to maintain our resolve for chastity.

Because  of our resolve for chastity, we make efforts on our own to keep away from anything that will get us into the condition where we can’t keep this resolution. However, there are people who seem to have resolved to make sure we don’t keep to it. For now, let me call them – seducers.

They use a wide range of tactics ranging from revealing ‘sensitive’ parts of their body, making sex-suggestive moves with their body to making body contact to arouse their target. Their tactics are ever evolving with Satan’s increasing penetration on our media and fashion, but the common denominator of them is to get you sexually aroused so that you will want to sleep with them or at least someone else.

While we continue to preach decency in dressing, we can’t put a stop to seducers tactics. That’s why we need immunity to their seduction. I prescribe immunity because it keeps you unseduced from seducers in our environment.

Now, how do you acquire this immunity? Follow me through the remaining parts of this letter for my answer.

First, let me tell you that I have been a victim of this, especially as a teenager. It was so distracting that many times I will lay hands on my staff of office and pray to God to make it dead and resurrect it when it’s time for its use. God never answered the prayer; instead He has helped me to stand firm. I want to share with you how God has been helping me.

You need to understand that you don’t get aroused primarily because of her seduction signals, but because you have receptors where the signals register. The seducers signals are like radio wave sent in your direction; you pick the signal ONLY if your body is turned on to receive it.

Therefore, the starting point of turning your receptors off so that even though the seducers signals is all around you, you won’t pick the signal. This can’t be achieved as quickly as you turn off your radio. It takes time and routine exercise on your part.

What do You fill Your Mind with?

First, work on your mind. If you fill your mind with pornographic materials in whatever format – text, pictures, videos – your body will be attuned to pick the seduction signals. I understand that, as one who desire chastity, you won’t go to buy or download what we generally term pornographic stuffs but what about the soft porn in around us all the time. You can’t sit down watching TV channels that play music videos which is a collage of half-naked girls; making sexual moves and sounds in the name of dancing. 

Just by the way, know that TV channels like Channel O and Trace Urban TV are not for us; they have their audience! These guys seem to specialize in playing only X-rated music videos. They don’t help us maintain our chastity and we must resolve to mistakenly tune into the channel.  I make bold to say, if you make these channels or their like your favorite, your chance of maintaining chastity will drop to near-zero.

Don’t sit down watching the pictures on Fashion Court in newspapers. They know why they devote two pages to display pictures of nude women. But what I know is that it is not good that you sit down watching it. To spend your time watching it is to turn your system on to get seduction signals easily.

At some point in my life, I resolved not to see Oyibo man’s movies because almost everyone I see will have scenes of plain sex action.

What information do you process in your mind? If you have cut yourself off from these materials but you still go in the company of sinners; they will fill your head with stories of sex which when your mind process thereby turning you on. Personally, I have to cut off from some relationships I consider career rewarding because these people will describe their sex escapades with their girlfriends and concubines so clearly that you can picture it in your mind’s eye. This gets me thinking what I shouldn’t.

Which comedian do you listen to? What is the content of their comedy? There are two Nigerian comedians I hate to listen to their jokes or whatch their sitcom. Their jokes border on sex while their sitcom is about fantasies about sex. Yes, it’s joke and it makes us laugh but does it leave us better? I would rather risk not listening to any joke for the rest of my life than listen dirty ones. Let’s look out for clean jokes; there is at least one of them I know whose jokes are both intelligent and clean.  I listen to that one any day.

Beware of vulgar musicians. My number one source of entertainment is music. But at some point I realised that some of the songs I listens to, though confam production, are not good for me. So, I became selective. What kind of music do you listen to? It doesn’t make sense to plug your headphone listening to somebody singing ‘all I want is your waist’ or the other boy that wants a girl’s body sleeping in his bed  and tell me, you are craving for chastity. If you listen to these vulgar lyrics for a long time, your system gets conditioned not just to be easily seduced but for sex. Get this clear: music has the capacity to put you in a mood; be careful that you don’t listen to ones that will put you in the mood for sex.

Don’t just free your mind; fill it with valuable stuffs.

I have been talking about what not allow into our mind –the true centre of sexual arousal. But you know that nature abhors vacuum. When you free your mind of pornographic stuffs, you have to fill it with clean materials to process. Get busy; very busy with your books or work. More importantly, fill your heart with Scriptural truths about sex. Get a friend who is not under the bondage of sexual immorality and encourage one another to keep your resolution for purity. I have a brother who we bare our minds on sex and temptations. It has been encouraging in my resolve for chastity.

Build your spirit man up. Get messages and listen. For me, I listened to Pastor Bankie’s messages, “The Giant Killer*” where he showed me how powerful God has made me to take on any giant whatsoever and how Satan wants to leak that power away through sin. I also listened to another one, “Faith Killed by Sin**” and “Desperate for Purity***” where my heart was saturated with the power of sin; thereby weakening the craving for it. I read Zac Poonen’s book, “Sex Love and Marriage****”. As I fill my heart with these materials it became easy for me to see nude images in magazines or online and not get fixated to them. The same things that aroused me look normal. I even thought that my ‘staff of office’ has finally died but it didn’t.

It will be an error to make it look like its just methods I used. I prayed to God in plain terms; telling Him how I feel and why he needs to help me out. You can’t cease form praying to Him. Sometimes we know what to do but feel incapacitated to do it. That was Jesus Christ, condition just before the cross. He went to God and presented his condition to him and He was strengthened to do the will of God. Bros, it’s the will of God that we maintain chastity; let’s always go to Him in prayers requesting His help to enable us obey Him.

My brother, as you do this, you will realize that you have started acquiring the immunity to her seduction. That’s when you will be able to see that it’s actually stupid for a girl to wear that skimpy dress she wears. You will be able to notice that it’s desperation that will make her put her boobs for auction (with push up bra). Your attitude will change from fantasies about her body to surprise for her foolishness.

Also, don’t make them your close friends. This is most useful as you are trying to free your mind of dirty images. Some of them are so stupid (or possessed of Satan) that even when you try to avoid them, they keep coming close; tactically pushing you with her boobs.  In that case tell the person directly and in plain terms what she is doing how you are not interested. She will feel bad; but that’s her problem. The most important thing is maintaining chasitity!

One other thing that has been helping me is that I understood that some of these seducers don’t know what they are doing; they are possessed by Satan and sent to ruin your life. That is why I basically see them as either girls confused by confused celebrities or are possessed of Satan to ruin my life.

This letter is getting longer and I don’t think I have said all I want to say on this issue. But I need to summarise now and continue in my subsequent letter.

What’s the point I have made? We may not be able to stop seducers from trying to seduce us but we can condition ourselves not to be seduced by them. Don’t fill your mind with pornographic information. When you stumble on it; resist any urge to process it in your mind. Fill your mind with God’s truth about sex and sexual sins. Remember her tactics are to turn on your body and destroy the real you. She is a messenger from Satan; not really a seducer.

I hope you got my point?

Let’s pray.

Almighty God I thank you for making us your children through Jesus Christ. It’s our desire to live in chastity but there are temptations everywhere. Our utmost desire is that you wipe our world of seducers or better still convert them but as long as they are here give us strength to obey you despite their influences. Please strengthen us to do you will as single youths. Of our own, we can’t obey you but we desire to obey you completely. Send us help because Jesus Christ has paid for it. Amen.

* “The Giant Killer’ is a 5-part series of radio messages

** “Faith Killed by Sin” part of a series is radio series “Faith and Destiny)

*** “Desperate for Purity” is part the series, “Habitation of God”

****  Love, Sex and Marriage can be accessed from book section of Zac Poonen website