Every man needs help and nobody, the wealthy and intelligent inclusive, can really make much progress or achieve much result without the help of others.

With help, we get results we may not get on our own. Help strengthens us to make progress where ordinarily, we would have been stuck. It’s saying the known to say that you and I need help from our neighbours as youths on the starting legs of success ladder and even as adults who have  achieved great success.

However, there are certain helps that are toxic. That’s the kind of help which though they help you get result, make progress, or attain a goal, they are generally toxic in the long run.

Wisdom demands that you beware of these kinds of help and do your best to turn it down when it’s offered or endeavour not to solicit for it. I am sure you would not want to subscribe to poison that will paralyze you in the future.  That’s why you must be careful to ensure you keep away from such toxic help.

So, what do I call toxic help? Technically, there is no definition. But I like to describe what I call toxic help to you.

Toxic help is that help which even though enables you achieve result, enslaves you to the helper. If someone helps you so that he can exert undue influence on you, at present or in the future, he is giving you toxic help. If someone helps you today so that in the future he can make any demand and you will be bound to grant it because of the help he had rendered, he is giving you toxic help.

That’s why I am uncomfortable with their either of someone offering to ‘empower’ me so I will become his boy he can tell to do anything at anytime. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that there is any issue with feeling indebted to people because of their impact in your life. In fact, there are people who have touched my life that one of my wishes is that they will have a need that I can meet.

Please understand that I’m not saying someone you helped can’t expect help from you. What I am saying is that it’s toxic to get help from people whose motivation for helping you is to bind you to their bidding by the help they give you.

Many people receive toxic help because on the surface, it doesn’t appear toxic. It wears the clothe of help. Sometimes, people subscribe to it without knowing. Some others do it deliberately with a covenant or vow.

One of the simplest way to avoid toxic help is not to go out looking for it. Also, it requires turning it down even when it is offered.

From my experiences, I have found that manipulators are custodian of toxic help. They appear to be assisting but they want to buy you and make you feel guilty for not helping them giving them help back in the future. Be careful in getting help from such one. There are people who can’t help someone without coming back in the future to get the help back. Beware of such people; they may demand what you can’t give in the future.

I hate toxic help with everything in me. If you want to help me with a contract so that tomorrow, I can give your child or cousin a job he doesn’t qualify for, please keep your help. It’s toxic! If he is qualified, I will give him the job without your toxic help. Don’t nominate me for a post so that you can control me to do your selfish bidding. I don’t need it! Look for another person.

What is the point I’m making? In your pursuits in life, you will need help in one way of the other. Please get it. But be careful that selfish people don’t trap you with their help. Don’t be so ambitions to entangle yourself in a covenant of evil people because of the help they will give you. It’s unnecessarily! You don’t need it! God will send you help! Yes; He will! Hold on to Him to elevate you. God is the true source of your help; He only uses human being to deliver such helps; don’t fall into the trap of anybody who claims to have help to give you at the promise of deadening your conscience.


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Joseph Dinwoke

Chief Content Officer at Brojid World
Joseph 'Brojid' Dinwoke, Radio producer/OAP at Radio Nigeria Voice96.7FM, and publicist, is the curator of At Brojid World, he creates contents and provides training, mentoring, coaching and inspiration for peak performance in your life and work through blog posts, podcasts, books and training. You can follow him on social media by clicking on any of these social media icons. To get his daily inspirational and insightful broadcast on WhatsApp, connect with him with: 0810 550 4664

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